Second Trimester

Gosh - it's been nearly a month since my last post! Kyle and I packed up our apartment in Honolulu, then took off for a 7 day cruise that left out of L.A. on the 19th of December. We arrived back in California to spend a few days with Kyle's sister and her family, then I said my good-byes and headed up to San Jose solo. I met up with mom and dad and we drove north to Oregon. It was a VERY busy several weeks! Upon my arrival in Gold Beach I began work at Curry General Hospital as a nurse (night shift!) and have been adjusting to the new schedule. Whew! Quite the month.

During this time I've been feeling better and better. My appetite has returned 100% - and while I still am taking Unisom at night for nausea, I am on the verge of stopping that to see how I do without it. I was 14 weeks as of January 12th and most everything I've read said that the nausea should be subsiding right about now. So we'll see! I'm optimistic. I have my first prenatal visit with Alice Taylor on Monday, January 18th. Alice delivered me 29 years ago today in the room right next to where I am sleeping. Having her be my midwife will hopefully be a wonderful experience! 

Just the other night at the hospital I helped 2 other nurses in the delivery of a baby on the unit. It came out so quickly that Alice couldn't even run the 100 meters from across the hospital before the baby popped out! I held him last night while at work when his mom was sleeping. So tiny! Such little fingers! Hard to imagine we'll have one of our own in just 6 months. Scary. And wonderful.

Appetite is Back!

As of yesterday, my appetite is officially back! I'm very excited by this since I love food and hated not enjoying it for the last 4 weeks. Yesterday I ate a wonderful dinner downtown Honolulu that included a goat-cheese appetizer, peppery pork chops with some sort of cucumber/yogurt sauce, and vegetables. So yummy. And I enjoyed every bite! =)

I'm not sure if my morning sickness is finally lifting or the Unisom is working - but whatever it is, I'm stoked. Just in time to enjoy our honeymoon cruise to Mexico!

10 Weeks & First Prenatal Visit

Kyle and I went to Tripler Army Medical Center yesterday for my first official prenatal visit. It was a little disappointing because we had been hoping to hear the fetal heartbeat. Unfortunately they do not do fetal heartbeat checks at 10 weeks at Tripler, so we didn't get to hear that long-awaited "swishing" sound. Since I get emotional at EVERYTHING these days, I had to hold back my tears of disappointment. But I did get my lab work done and got to pee in another cup - so we did accomplish something. I think a part of me just wants to hear the heartbeat to confirm that this is all real, and that there really is a little kidney-sized baby growing inside of me. It is all so far-removed and surreal, that hearing that heartbeat will make it all more concrete for me. 

What IS concrete, however, is my persistent nausea and (new this week) headaches. The nausea has lessened somewhat since I began taking a half-tablet of Unisom in the evening. Thank goodness. The headaches are bearable and hopefully won't last too long. My understanding is that hormones peak during Weeks 9 and 10, then begin to subside as the placenta takes over that job. So hopefully after this week things will begin to improve. I'm becoming more optimistic as I near the end of my first trimester! I still wear my Sea-bands Kyle bought me - and while I might be imagining it, I think they actually help with the nausea!

This week, Week 10, our little guy or gal is just over one inch long. He/she is kicking his legs and moving his arms - as well as swallowing amniotic fluid. Tiny fingernails and toenails are beginning to form, and peach-fuzz hair is growing on her skin. All the webbing is gone from between the fingers and toes, as well. Most of his vital organs (liver, kidney, brain, etc.) are beginning to function this week as well! Amazingly enough, the little guy will actually respond to poking and prodding at this point, as well!

Vomiting

Up until yesterday I've been surviving my first trimester with mild to severe nausea, depending on the day. But I'd yet to visit the toilet to vomit. Yesterday morning at about 5:00 AM I woke up with the worst nausea I'd had. Thinking I needed to put something in my stomach (this usually helps), I went downstairs and forced down a few raspberries, apple slices, and saltine crackers. They all came back up again in about 10 minutes. Unfortunately  I was standing by the sink at the time and didn't have time to make it to the toilet - so I vomited everything up in the sink (which proceeded to get clogged up). After vomiting I had about 5-10 minutes of absolutely no nausea, as well as a burst of energy. So I cleaned up the sink and headed to bed. About an hour later, more vomiting. This time Kyle woke up and helped by rubbing my back and just helping me not feel so alone. This proceeded throughout the morning until around noon. I began to get worried that I wasn't keeping fluids down. The rule is 24 hours ... if you can't keep anything down for that amount of time, you have to go get fluids at the hospital.

Sometime in the early afternoon I was finally able to keep sips of ginger-ale down, as well as 2 saltine crackers. I kept sipping fluids throughout the afternoon and, despite a few more urges to vomit, kept everything down. The irony is, as much as I hate vomiting (and I HATE vomiting), I almost wanted to in the afternoon because I knew that the misery would be followed by a solid 10 minutes or so of relief. But my desire to stay out of the hospital was stronger, I suppose, and I kept everything down after that.

Yesterday was hard. I finally admitted to myself (after a conversation with my mom) that I just don't enjoy being pregnant. Maybe I will in a week or two - but right now, I just do not enjoy it. I also tried letting go of the guilt that I'm doing something wrong and that's what is making me sick. I know better than that (everything I read says that it has to do with hormones, and that each woman and each pregnancy is different). I also finally broke down and let Kyle buy me some Unisom to take with my B6. It is a sleep aid that can be used for nausea and is given the okay to use during pregnancy. I've been so adamant about not using drugs during pregnancy. But to be honest, I was more than excited to give it a try yesterday afternoon. I felt like I was going to die and simply wanted relief.

I don't think the Unisom helped my nausea yesterday very much, but it did make me very tired and I slept most of the afternoon and into the night. I woke-up feeling hungry and mostly nausea-free. I took another Unisom this AM (half a tablet) and am feeling okay. Not completely nausea-free ... but I'm able to get up, move around, and eat. I ate some oatmeal in the morning, as well as some Cheerios. The only problem is is that it makes me sleepy. But at this point, I'll take sleepiness over feeling like dying. We'll see how long it works.

Ugh.

While I am excited at the outcome of being pregnant (a son or daughter) ... the whole "being pregnant" thing is harder than I imagined it to be! I've now had fairly consistent nausea for almost 4 weeks - and while it has lessened some, it is still there, making me feel tired, lethargic, and grumpy. I'm still drinking my ginger tea and taking my B6 - but it gets frustrating. Especially when all the images I had of pregnancy were of a glowing, healthy woman out walking every day, eating fresh vegetables, fruit, fish and other incredibly healthy meals. I'm still optimistic that I will get there in another few weeks. But currently I still have to talk myself into my 1 mile walk - and then it is more of a slow stroll I endure. I'm living off of crackers, bland carbs, and cheese. I try to eat vegetables - but sometimes just the sight of them makes me stomach turn. Oh, the irony.

It's a good wake-up call for me, however. I often like to imagine the "ideal" - and can be quite harsh on myself and others when that ideal falls short. So all in all, it is probably good that God is bringing me a little reality in my life. I will also be way more sympathetic toward other women when they complain of morning sickness, fatigue, etc. Before experiencing it myself, I would have waived it off as needing to have an attitude adjustment. And while I'm fully aware that attitude CAN affect health and physical outcomes - I can now attest that despite trying to have a positive attitude about it all, one can still just feel downright crappy!

I'm still holding onto the belief that my morning sickness will begin to ease during the next week or two (weeks 9 and 10 are supposed to be the "peak" ... and I'm midway through week 9 right now). I am imagining a wonderful honeymoon cruise with Kyle where I am free of morning sickness - with an appetite for all the good food on board!

We have our first official prenatal visit at Tripler this Monday. I am hoping to hear the fetal heartbeat and know that this will remind us of the miracle going on inside of me - even when it doesn't feel so miraculous on the outside!

9 Weeks

Here's what our little guy looks like at 9 Weeks (more or less, anyways)! He/she is about the size of a large grape or small strawberry. The eyes will close this week as eye-lids grow over them. They will then remain shut until after Week 20 sometime. The tail has disappeared and all his/her organs and muscles are now functioning. The muscles do not yet move voluntarily as the brain has not developed to that point yet.

8 Weeks Photo